Week 3: VDay or Flee Day?
Happy V day everyone! Whether it’s with a special someone or a box of chocolates and a movie, make it good and honor the person who most deserves your love–yourself.
Here’s a quick recap on the past week’s shenanigans.
#BreakingNews National Security Advisor Michael Flynn flew the coop late Monday night amidst increasing concern over his chattiness with Russian comrades. Thus far the largest stumbling block in the beleaguered Trump Administration, The White House is busy speed dialing temp agencies for possible replacements. No stranger to Russian interference, Hillary Clinton had a veiled response of her own to Flynn’s resignation.
#BreakingNewsTheSequel As of Tuesday morning, Secret Service Director Joseph Clancy has also run for the hills. Details are currently sparse as this is a developing situation, so stay tuned.
The Trumpy Report
When you’re forced to hang ‘cause your moms are friends. POTUS extended hands to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in their respective visits to the White House. Abe could be heard coaching DJT to gaze into his eyes for the requisite shot, resulting in a veritable field day for Memesters rather than a successful move towards alleged handshake envy. Mrs. Abe kept her hands to herself, flying solo in DC as FLOTUS belatedly joined the trio in Mar-A-Lago for some weekend golf. On the Canadian front, Trudeau’s seemingly reluctant hand clasp led to meetings reaffirming US/Canadian shared priorities, peppered with Trump’s continued defense of the hotly contested Travel Ban–a ban that Trudeau himself has flatly repudiated for his own nation’s policies. POTUS’ meetings with the political heartthrob included a soft reversal on his campaign criticisms of NAFTA as he pushed blame on NAFTA problems down south of the Mexican border.
Don’t let us interrupt your dinner – Donald Trump and Japanese PM Shinzo Abe received an unexpected side dish when dining at his Florida golf course Mar-A-Lago. Word of a North Korean test missile launch failed to deter dinner plans, as Trump proceeded with debriefing in full view of civilian diners. A fellow diner posted the whole event on facebook, although his account has since been deleted. Looks like the lobster really is that good–though perhaps not as memorable as the Trump Tower taco bowls.
Life imitates art imitating life – a Dominican Newspaper printed a photo of Alec Baldwin in character as Saturday Night Live’s Donald Trump, mistaking him for the Donald Himself. What came first, the Alec or the Trump? File this under ‘can’t make this ish up’.
That lunch you’ve been dreading. A lunch meeting between POTUS and select senators turned awkward this week as he referenced his preferred nickname for Senator Warren. “Pocahontas” made a comeback as Trump regurgitated unsubstantiated thoughts on voter fraud and offered his perspective on a potential DNC facelift.
Give it to me quick. You can find this week’s list of falsehoods here. Or if you’re more into seeing the future, our friends at FiveThirtyEight have crystal-balled the likely scenarios involving the Trump administration.
Have Lemons, Make Limoncello. Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) was asked to take a seat over her reading of a letter by MLK’s widow Coretta Scott King. The concern? That Sessions’ history of racism rendered him an inappropriate nominee for Attorney General, the top legal enforcement position in the nation. The DNC’s fury at Warren’s silencing propelled the moment to the forefront of US news, inspiring a new tagline for the anti-Trump movement and an impromptu literary gathering at Senator Mitch McConnell’s own home. McConnell has since been forced into a defensive stance over allegations of hypocrisy.
No use crying over spilled oil. Last week’s Texan oil leak failed to deter #45–despite over 140K gallons of diesel fuel spilling onto private property, Trump is full steam ahead with Keystone, DAPL, and potentially $17Bill in primarily pipeline and coal energy projects. Cue protests and flood of military vets pouring into Standing Rock to form a wall of their own.
Rumor Has it…that POTUS’ honeymoon with White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer is getting blander by the minute. While the official WH stance is a staunch denial of courting another mistress, whispers abound that Carl Higbie, former Navy Seal and old Trump supporter, is in the running for the hot seat. Higbie’s most notable claim to fame thus far is his assertion that WWII Japanese internment set a precedent for a Muslim registry, although he consistently tries to beat that record with his racially charged social media presence. At least he’s got the Trump handshake down.
Trump Trumps love. “I did it for love.” Guadalupe Garcia has become the poster-woman for the recent raids on illegal immigrants in major cities from South Carolina to Los Angeles. The married mother of two fled to the US as a teenager (with her parents) searching for something better, and in 2008 was arrested for using a fake Social Security number – a prerequisite for ‘something better’. Apparently that was enough to bucket her in with the ‘criminals and rapists’, and ensure Trump kept campaign promises. Some activists have even gone so far to suggest that these raids are in retaliation for “sanctuary city” policies.
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Decide to escape to a tropical island for a week? See what you might have missed: